Asked by Anonymous, and posted in Picture format so the full question can be seen and I don’t have to post all four asks.
Hi Anon.
I’ll address your points individually, to save the dash of anyone who wants to read and try and be overall more effective.
- “Thing is Blaine did eventually stop after Kurt told him to. He was too drunk to stop after the first few ‘stops’ but once Kurt yelled at him he stopped. “
Okay, first of all, I’m going to stop you right there. “He was too drunk to stop” is already beginning a statement of apologism that is used by many a housewife, girlfriend, or family member who has been abused by an alcoholic, or someone under the influence of alcohol in order to dismiss the actions of the other person. Blaine having no drinks, one drink, five drinks or ten drinks doesn’t change the gravity of his actions whatsoever, and should not be an excuse in any case. He pushed Kurt down, tried to kiss him, and in no way considered Kurt or his feelings until he was forcibly pushed away and faced with them. Kurt himself says it: “I’ve never felt less like being intimate with someone. And it’s either you can’t tell or you just don’t care.”
Furthermore, He didn’t stop once Kurt yelled at him. Kurt pushes him off, gets out of the car, and then yells at him. It’s even why Blaine asks “Why are you yelling?” Blaine is stopped by Kurt physically pushing him away- and the fact that Kurt had to do that at all speaks volumes.- “The reason I don’t judge Blaine’s actions too harshly is because once he realized Kurt didn’t want it, he stopped pressuring.”
No, once he realized Kurt didn’t want it he shot back a sarcastic sorry for trying to be “spontaneous and fun” and stormed off, after Kurt is calling him out for not once considering him or his feelings in his little attempt to do so.- “Kurt’s protests lasted about 3-4 seconds….Blaine acted like douche, but his offence wasn’t that serious. Even in his drunken he would’ve never wanted to hurt Kurt or persist knowing that Kurt didn’t want it.”
Actually, Kurt protested any sort of affection from Blaine the moment he and Blaine began walking toward the car, including any kisses, and gently tried to push him away during that time while leading him towards the car. The amount of time doesn’t matter- it matters that in those 3-4 seconds of protests (or more) Kurt clearly kept his distance and rejected Blaine’s advances, which should have been enough of a warning for Blaine, drunk or not. I don’t disagree that Blaine didn’t have any harmful intentions towards Kurt, but the main problem is that he also failed to consider Kurt whatsoever, and when it comes to sex and general intimacy (especially with a partner who’s expressed with clarity how he views the situation and his own objections/desires/etc like Kurt) it’s not just a one way road.- “I look to the characters intentions and state of mind first and foremost. There was no malice on Blaine’s part and any desire to overrule Kurt’s feelings. He was muddled up and made a mistake. “
And whatever intentions or state of mind may have been, Anon, I look toward actions as definitive statements, not what intentions there may have been during the carrying out of the action. They say the road to hell is paved with Good intentions for a reason, and this one isn’t any difference. You could say that Finn had no intention to call Kurt’s things (and by default, Kurt himself) Faggy, but he did, and Burt threw him out because of it. You could say that Quinn had no intention of cheating on Finn or that Puck had no intention of impregnating Quinn; But she and he did. You could say that Rachel had no intention of Sunshine actually being in danger when she sent her to a crack house, but she was. So forth.
Intention is subjective and easily changed or disguised as something else by the person who commits an action. The people who have gone down in history haven’t been recorded because of their intentions; It’s actions, cause and effect which decide the nature of events, and this isn’t any different. Blaine’s intentions weren’t malicious, but the outcome was the same- an extremely triggering scene, a Kurt near tears, and a Blaine that not just overruled Kurt’s feeling entirely, but who couldn’t even go find his boyfriend the next day and apologize, as he should have.- “But why is it necessary to go back to S1 Kurt? The incident happened to the Kurt in 3.05 people change, circumstances change, relationships develop. Really, I think the only way to settle this is to ask how Kurt felt right after he got out of the car.”
In this case, Anon, it’s more of a case of “Writers change, Show changes, everything changes, lol continuity.” It’s true that change is a part of not just a relationship, but life in general. Season 3 Kurt is very different from Season 1 Kurt- in some ways, a positive thing, in others, a negative. The problem with only asking this season’s Kurt is very simple- the writers control Kurt, control his opinion, and the true fact of the matter is that fandom, more now than ever, controls the writers. The fandom they’re writing for, then, is one who not only mass-worships Blaine on nearly every level, but who also often fail to recognize any mistakes on Blaine’s part and brushes them off with a giggle and an “Oh, Blainers.” Season 1 Kurt is still Kurt, still holds the core values that Kurt was always meant to have, and would be a Kurt without the devotion for Blaine that mirrors the fandom he’s currently being written for.- “Right after Kurt got out of the car I highly doubt he would’ve labelled Blaine’s actions as sexual assault. He was pissed off that Blaine was dancing with Sebastian, that Blaine got the timing and location wrong. Even when Blaine guilt trips him and stalks off, Kurt still wanted Blaine to come back. I don’t think someone who values himself as much as Kurt would sleep with a guy that sexually assaulted him. Kurt didn’t view it as a sexual assault, and I don’t think we should either.”
You don’t need to ask Kurt how he felt after he got out of the car; He already told us what he was feeling. He’s feeling unappreciated by his boyfriend in every aspect, He’s not feeling like he nor his body nor his decisions are being respected, and He is not happy with Blaine’s behavior whatsoever. It’s even worse if you consider that the last time he was forced into something out of his will, it was a kiss by the person who was his main aggressor at the time and a main cause of fear for him as well. To have Blaine pull him in, then, is almost like a reminder that Kurt has no control once more of this situation, and is exactly the reason he pushed him off and started yelling.
Furthermore, your statement of “Blaine got the timing and the location wrong” are so incredibly problematic. First off: Blaine has no control over when Kurt loses his virginity or starts a sexual relationship with him. It is a mutual decision by the people in the relationship- it’s not “Hey I’m trying now! Woops, wrong time, sorry, I’ll try again later.” Kurt isn’t upset that Blaine “got the timing and location wrong”- he’s upset, as a I said above, that Blaine isn’t taking him or his feelings in consideration whatsoever, and is simply doing what he feels like doing because the alcohol is goading him on.
As for Kurt wanting Blaine to return after Blaine’s part-tantrum, part guilt-trip, It’s because it’s his boyfriend, who’s underage and drunk and trying to walk alone. He’s obviously worried, as anyone would be. Blaine’s walking away is an added slap to the face to what Kurt’s experience, because it shifts the focus of Blaine’s actions in the car towards Kurt “letting Blaine walk away”, and places blame on Kurt when, frankly, everything that happened that night went wrong through Blaine’s actions.
In the end, anon, none of us expected Kurt to sleep with Blaine in that episode, especially after the scandals scene. It was a mistake on the writer’s part, and a heavy one at that- because those kinds of events are not ones that should encourage sex, and to have a character happily and willingly go through with them sends a horrible message about what it means for someone to go through this, and how it affects them. Kurt doesn’t view it as sexual assault because the writers not only shift the blame to him, but are writing for a group with people who literally reblog this video amongst themselves and scream about how “hot” blaine was in it, and who would obviously never take it as otherwise. That doesn’t make it any less of what it is: sexual assault. A forceful imposition on Kurt’s self without invitation, and one that required force to make it go away.
(Source: blessekum)
